#self – Notes From Feelings

Of Brokenness and Beauty

I open my eyes and see the lightthe day born anew with the same nightthe sky is blue, but I still have to fightand I no longer try to make something rightwhat is already broken cannot be fixedthere is nothing such as a magical pill for the sickI know it now to help me feelContinue reading “Of Brokenness and Beauty”

A Story Untold in Search of the Rainbow

there is a river at the corner of my eyesstreaming endlessly down my facemy brain has grown immune to lieswhenever I say I am fine, it’s a wasted gracewhat has already been lost cannot be replaced there is a raging war in my head I cannot fighta familiar storm that grips my chest tightthe darkContinue reading “A Story Untold in Search of the Rainbow”

What I Choose For Me

spring has passed by quicklyand now summer will be readythe sun will shine more brightlyI feel the air getting warmer graduallyI hope good days will come immediatelybecause I miss those times when Iplaying joyfully and dreaming to flybetween white clouds in the blue sky although winter has gone alreadybut I still feel the cold aroundContinue reading “What I Choose For Me”

Semicolon;

and it continuesafter everything that came to methe sleepless nights of overthinkingwhile drowning in the mixed feelingsI try to sing so that I do not sink deeperinto the vast mysterious ocean withinthat I am quite afraid of it sometimesof the power that the ocean holdsthe way it’s calm on the surfacebut there are raging wavesContinue reading “Semicolon;”

Made a Peace From Pieces that Are Remained

I used to cling to the memoriesbefore I learned they did not define mebut I couldn’t take them off easilylike a coat, it’s wrapped around my bodylike my past, it’s always followed memy future seems distant and blurrysome of the memories are bad and hurtmade me want to run away frombut I feel like IContinue reading “Made a Peace From Pieces that Are Remained”

(Happy) New Year

she closes both her tired eyesbreathe the air deeply and laysin her bedroom, she can hearthe fireworks and the loud cheersfrom people that are celebratinga thing that is just the same thingfor her, everything is only temporaryso why bother to waste time and energy outside her small bedroom stillshe can hear the noises so clearpeopleContinue reading “(Happy) New Year”

Dear My Future Self,

I heard that you are not feeling wellI could see it although you did not tellalways trying to seem fine and wellalthough you feel like living in hellcover your tears with that sweet smileconvince everything will be okay in a whileand keep walking lightly for another mile I think that you need time to restyourContinue reading “Dear My Future Self,”

How Being at the Peak of Crisis Feels Like

as foolish as it soundsI am here but want to be foundwhatever I am trying to run fromit is inside me in a different forma familiar twist wrecking storm as strange as it soundsthe will within me slowly withdrawnit is easier to let myself drownall the things that made me downkeep my eyes wide awakeContinue reading “How Being at the Peak of Crisis Feels Like”

A Positive Affirmation Injection

I always think there will be a tomorrowalthough I have drowned in sorrowwith a shattered heart that feels hollowhave no clues where I can borrowthe time when I need a moment to slow—down my breath and match my step to followthe world’s change that I could never knowbut I always think there is a tomorrowContinue reading “A Positive Affirmation Injection”

A Story About A Broken Girl

she has red eyes at nightthe result of battles she cannot fightalthough she turns on the lightbut inside her head still darkshe has lost all the sparks alcohol does not excite her anymorethe world has collapsed her on the flooreverything around her blending in the stormthe only thing she can see is the blue ceilingthatContinue reading “A Story About A Broken Girl”