there are too many things to fight
her monogamous relationship with the light
extinguished by tired every night
she’s living with the fear side by side
no place to hide
don’t know how to feel relief
although she knows it never gets easier
but, she tries to believe
she will get tougher
stay calm in uncomfortable
her heart shattered
when she wrote a letter
they said it will get better
for her it just gets bitter
she doesn’t know how much longer
can survive the disaster
she needs a saviour
but, she only has herself
Self-Aware to Step Back
my time is up
to make you notice
I voluntarily give you up
let you go with the breeze
taken along with the flow
now, you will never know
the thing I desperately want to say
that I rehearse every day
it doesn’t matter anymore
slowly will be fading into folklore
no more step forward I can take
it just going to be in vain
and I can’t feel another pain
in the middle ocean of sadness
I wish your life fill with happiness
I’m saying sincerely
from the bottom of my broken heart
may you and her never drifted apart
so here I am now
my teary eyes wide open
contemplating in the low
swallow the unspoken
I’m the one who should go
Nostalgia
raining outside
as I writing this
is wet everywhere
deep inside
waves break the wall
nothing really happens at all
your favourite colour
is covers something in me
united with my blood
you can never see
my favourite colour
is always your eyes
wish there is much less to cries
and now I’m cold
have no one to hold
although rain turn
into drizzle but still
I keep myself learn
not to feel
but the waves already
breakthrough
and I’m drown
not with you
An Old Tree in the Dry Ground
I have done it again
not remembering exactly when was the last time
but I feel have been here many times before
and I came back as if I was not alive
because the light continues to fade
now words run from me
after he’s gone
then you’re hard to reach
also, those who are busy hurt each other
sometimes I feel like a leaf withered
who follows where the wind will blow me away
another day I was a fragile branch
just waiting for time to makes me fall
then this lately I’m an old tree
without leaves also branches
settling alone on the dry ground
what a lonesome
the tree is still alive but it is not
people just look through the distance
and thought that was enough
I’m awake to avoid falling asleep
maybe this time I will not wake up again
if letting myself to surrender
I hear a lot of people asking me to talk a lot
how can I explain
same as how they can understand
if I have lost words
I am so tired of the burdening mind
and the voices inside my head that can’t stop
because the period of suffering has begun
I’m back have done it again
the tree was half-standing but still alive
maybe somebody who cares enough
wants to take a closer look
maybe then he’ll tell the others
if it turns out that tree has reached the limit
slowly dying when nobody notice
in the dry ground, alone
what a lonesome
Regret
Cold heart, broken
unintentionally for him
but she know from the beginning
now the world not black
nor white
she was introduce to red
burning
Cold pieces, ruined
not ashes in him
but she know how will the ending
now the world mostly grey
in grief she get astray
hold the hopes that slowly away
fading
Cold hands, stayed
not him who counting the days
but she know the risks of falling
now the world darker than nightmare
how she wish wouldn’t dare
and beg the ghost within the air
vanishing
The Same Thing
I see her every day
she always sits in there, under the tree
she looks like waiting for someone
but, I never saw someone who she was waiting for
sometimes she looked up,
sometimes she cries,
sometimes she looks like she was daydreaming
I don’t know did she was waiting for someone
but, I know that her face is always the same every day
she looks tired and tried to cover that
I could see that she was injured
her eyes radiate grief
she always waited for hours
sometimes I’m also waiting for hours
just wanted to know, who she has been waiting?
what is it for she willing to do that?
did she meet the man she was waiting for?
as usual the next day
I got through the tree where she was waiting
but, I don’t see her
the next day I also do not see her
the next day I was sitting in her usual place to sit
I waited for hours, but she still didn’t come
a week passed, a month passed
she never came again
and I never got an answer to my questions
without realising I was doing what she did
I waited for hours,
sometimes I look up,
sometimes I cry
I realised what she feels a month ago
I experienced what she experienced
we both experienced the same thing,
namely loss.
HI, You! Welcome
Poetry might be defined as the clear expression of mixed feelings.
— Wystan H. Auden.
This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going. This blog is about poetry that I’ve written but, I’m not an expert though. I always love poetry, I also like to write so, I’ve combined the two ideas. I never thought that I’ll publish poetry that I’ve written but, here I am. If you stumble accidentally to this blog then, I hope that you like what you read. So, that’s it. Stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates or not, that’s your call. I hope you can enjoy whatever that you read in here.
Notes From Feelings 